Manic Depressive Talk

Bipolar Disorder and MusicOne strange quirk that has manifested when I’ve been in a manic state is a strong attraction to music; on more than one occasion, I’ve been easily hypnotized by music and have even  taken the lyrics of some songs too literally, almost as if they were specifically written for me. While listening to music so fervently scared the people around me, I think that in some way, music distracted me from the reality that all was not well with my mind and gave me a temporary focus to concentrate on when reading books and following conversations became too difficult for me because my mind was moving at mock-speed.


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Bipolar DisorderImsomnia.

There are times I can’t sleep at night. I usually lie in bed and wait for sleep. I don’t count sheep, but I do change my position on the bed 47 times and worry somewhat anxiously about my life. I worry about whether I’m going manic again because before every manic episode I’ve ever had in the past, not sleeping was the first warning sign.

Every day I wake up late and am groggy. My eyes are crusty and are often peeled shut. Though my inability to wake up early has been a life-long affliction, it’s gotten much worse since I started taking my current medication. The bottle the pills come in usually warns me about drowsiness and operating heavy machinery, but it never says anything about how difficult it will be to wake up in the morning or how embarrassing it is to explain to people why I am not on a regular sleep schedule.


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Lincoln's Melancholy by Joshua Wolf ShenkI am in the midst of reading “Lincoln’s Melancholy”, by Joshua Wolf Shenk which is secondarily titled, “How Depression Challenged a President and Fueled His Greatness”. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I picked it up, but in addition to Lincoln's life story, many of the ideas given in the book are truly interesting.

Lincoln was a severely depressed individual, which  is well-documented by his writings and those of his friends and family. He was often described as somber, but also as a person with a wry sense of humor. Like many of us who struggle with Bipolar Disorder, his depression was probably genetic and was also exacerbated by personal hardships.


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Chuck PalahniukChuck Palahniuk, known primarily for authoring “The Fight Club”, his penchant for writing about support groups, and for having a name that even his most ardent of fans cannot pronounce, just wrote an “inspirational” article for Men’s Health with specific advice about how to make your life worth living.

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