Bipolar Disorder Jokes

Recently on a Facebook forum, there was a page devoted solely to Bipolar Jokes. While some are not yet able to laugh about their illness, I find that laughing at some of the strange quirks of Bipolar Disorder is actually a good coping mechanism. Here are some great jokes related to Bipolar Disorder.  Check HERE for more jokes. Do you know any other good jokes about Bipolar Disorder?

How many Bipolar People does it take to change a light-bulb?

It depends on what mood they are in.


Just because everyone’s out to get me doesn’t mean I’m not paranoid.


Instead of a sign that says "Do Not Disturb" I need one that says "Already Disturbed Proceed With Caution."


Welcome to the Mental Health Hotline!

  • If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly, being certain to touch the table and counting to 10 between each press.
  • If you are Co-Dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. ?...
  • If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
  • If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
  • If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship. ??If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully, and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
  • If you are Manic-Depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press since no one will answer.
  • If you have Bi-Polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
  • If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are too busy to help worthless people like you.
  • And thank you for calling the Mental Health Hotline!

***** please note that the last one should NOT be taken seriously- if you feel like you are not well or suicidal, please call a local Mental Health Hotline.********


You Know You're Bipolar If.........

10. You think Robin Williams should Perk Up.
9. You just bought the Kenny G and Berry Manilow box set just because.
8. You think going to bed on Monday and getting up on Friday is a good rest.
7. What do you mean you’re tired—I had only 3 orgasms!
6. You can not remember the number 7.
5 You know the names of at least three antidepressants and fifteen
mood stabilizers.
4 Your cat’s name is Kay and your dog’s name is Jamison.
3 You bring your own research to the doctor’s.
2 You think a drive from Vancouver, BC to Miami is something to do
in four days.

And the Number One reason you may be Bipolar is:

1 Last night you understood the secrets to the universe and this
morning you are contemplating whether the jam goes on top of the
peanut butter or under it.


A doctor at an asylum decided to take his
inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he
coached his patients to respond to his commands. When
the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be
going well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up
nuts!" And the inmates complied by standing up. After
the anthem he yelled, "Down Nuts!" And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, "Cheer nuts!" And they all
broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go
get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in
charge. When he returned there was a riot in progress.
Finding his assistant, he asked what happened. The
assistant replied, "Well...everything was fine until
some guy walked by and yelled, "PEANUTS!"


widdeedood's picture


1 Last night you understood the secrets to the universe and this
morning you are contemplating whether the jam goes on top of the
peanut butter or under it.



yoni's picture


the jam one. A superb summing up of mood swings.


Anonymous's picture


Loved the number 1. SO true.


Dre 's picture


OMG, i can relate LOLLLLL!


Anonymous's picture


On, there is a "Little Bipolar Humor" animation. It also has a great video about bipolar disorder.


Alan Eire 26's picture

Alan Eire 26


I used: just because everyone's out to get me doesn't, mean I'm not paranoid; last monday.


Rachael's picture


Ha this made me giggle!! :D more!!!


Anonymous's picture


I asked my roommate in the insane asylum why are we all here he said because we're all not there.....


C.O.'s picture


A guy came to the jail and said he was the Lord. I looked at him to see if he was kidding and he wasn't kidding. So I figured it could only be one of two things. He either was the Lord (because the Lord can manifest whereever and however he wants) or he was psychotic. Either way I had to send him into see the psychiatrist. And if he was the Lord, he would understand that this was the procedure we had at the jail. The psychiatrist gave him Haldol, and the Lord slept. Later in the week, I called his Mom and I realized that he wasn't the Lord ... because her name was Tammy. True story.


C.O.'s picture


You might be bipolar if you  self medicate with an upper, a downer, and a stabilizer ... which is usually cocaine, alcohol, and marijuana.


Alan Coopersmith's picture

Alan Coopersmith

well these bipolar jokes are very funny, sorry for ppl with these disease. We shouldn't be making jokes on it.


john tierney's picture

john tierney

i have bi polar and i laughed my ass off!. dont get offended on my behalf, find somthing in your own life worth being offended about


BP Chick's picture

BP Chick

I have bipolar and I am cracking up with these jokes. Most of us do have a sense of humor. We have to, to keep sane. You can make jokes about it, I sure do :P


BiPol Dori :(:'s picture

BiPol Dori :(:

Really, Alan, it's okay and thank you for your concern. We BiPols do laugh at ourselves and these jokes ARE funny.... except maybe in a day or two where we'll decide They ARe NOT FUnnY AND WHO HAD ThE NERRRRVE to PUT These ON HERE??!!! *Ahem!* But really, it's okay... they're funny. :):


Angela's picture


I was diagnosed with bipolar 4 weeks ago and I am enjoying the jokes, today I can laugh at myself, at least for the moment, who knows what this evening will bring.