During my first "manic-episode", I was more than a tad bit psychotic. I had just finished watching "The Stand" mini-series based on the Stephen King novel by the same name and I was convinced that I was deeply entrenched in my own personal stand against evil, and of course, for the sake of good. When I walked around my neighborhood, I wasn't only walking for myself, but believed others across the planet were taking their own private journeys for like-minded causes. I thought we were all connected by various threads to those both alive and dead.

I envisioned myself as some sort of personal savior. Not up to the ranks of a Jesus, but something more than an ordinary healer and much less than a Prophet. I was not dissuaded by the fact that there was nothing in my neighborhood to indicate scenes of an Acopolypse. Nor was I dissuaded by the fact that my roommates (who I had deemed as my own personal advisors) were not yet on my side. The further I walked (and I didn't get too far), the farther I got away from my own self.

My roommates, of course, had noticed that I was less than all-right and were trying to get me back into the house to little avail. I instead encouraged them to join me, which also did not work. Eventually, the scene ended somewhat badly and I went home, still convinced that there was major spiritual business to be done.

I was hospitalized and even after I got out of the hospital, I still had a tough time figuring out what was real about my experience and what was just a result of my too-fast-mind. To someone who has never had the experience of a manic episode with Psychosis, the lines of reality continue to blur somewhat even you are considered "able to function in society".

Now, I believe that although I still would have been pyschotic if I hadn't watched "The Stand", I wouldn't have taken such a strong turn into my (hopefully) false belief that the end of the world was coming or the slightly Don Quixote-esque version of reality that I had more to offer to life than just myself.

As a person with Bipolar Disorder, I have to watch my "input" into the system. In other words, what I read, what I process, what tv shows I watch, just might come out in a psychotic episode. Input often equals output. For those of you who also suffer from psychosis of some kind, I would advise that you carefully consider what you watch and read because of how it might affect your mind at a later time.